Monthly Archives: December 2012

Our Time

Catch-up folks, I’m growing fast, I know you must agree.
Every day I change, though it’s as long for you as me.

You’ll miss my tantrums, screams and yells, so savour them so true
You’ll miss my sleepless nights, I know, as long for me as you.

I won’t always be this small, this sweet, this cute – you’ll see,
Don’t forget each passing day passes just as quick for me.

These legs of mine can’t walk right now, but they’ll become much stronger.
Time passes fast, though a day is a day – no longer.

I could do so many things when I’m as tall as you,
Work in entertainment, as cast member or crew.

I might become a concert pianist, fill a concert hall,
All these things you dream of when, like me, you’re small.

But let’s not ponder on the future, it will come with time,
Let’s focus on the simple things, like rhythm, song and rhyme.

The present is our here and now, our one reality,
The future’s through another door, our one uncertainty.

I’ll still be yours and you’ll be mine, and as we climb life’s tree,
The big hand ticks around the clock the same for you as me.

So when you’re at your wits long-end, and struggling to get through,
Remember that a day is just a day – as much for me, as you.


Empty Beer Can

Empty beer can. Why did I open you? You didn’t make me

I just picked you up and opened you right up. You tasted good. Or did you?

You felt good.

Damn you empty beer can you’re such a bad empty beer can.

You make mistakes, you depress, compress, digress; take more than less.

Empty beer can, can you explain why we use you for our pleasure?

Every measure?


Beer can on the street. Dirty tramp devoured your body empty beer can, not for his pleasure. He drank for numbness – empty beer can, now do you feel proud?

You helped him forget about his troubles as he slept silently among the crowd.

Hey I’m inside trying to have fun, empty beer cans everywhere. The more the more fun?

I don’t think so empty beer can, I don’t think so.


Empty beer can you gave me confidence; coincidence?


Hell empty beer can I don’t need to train to fight; all I need is the contents of ten empty beer cans. I don’t even need my hands, so long as I got my empty beer cans.

You started the fight though didn’t you? We didn’t even know each other.

Empty beer can fights even with my brother.


Empty beer can you asked that girl out on a date for me…thank you.

We had a great time. Empty beer can bought her diamond rings. Then empty beer can said some stupid things.

Hell what kind of friend goes round saying stupid things to pretty girls? Well she was pretty last night empty beer can.


Empty beer can beat up my friend. Dam you empty beer can you beat up my best friend.

But always forgive. Good excuse you empty beer can – not a good excuse at all.


You stopped my friend from going to work empty beer can, you stopped him.

You got him fired; empty beer can, got him fired.

Now he’s retired.

You’ve hung around him empty beer can and he’s forgiven you – dam him, dam you empty beer can!

Not everyone wants you around empty beer can, not all the time, I think you’d better go away


….You’re a liar empty beer can I can still see you….


Hell empty beer can what are we going to do with you? Beat you black and blue? That’s what you do.

Empty God-dam beer can!!

You shape us physically, mentally, socially.You’re more powerful than the British government, more powerful than the army, more powerful than me.

You’re a liar empty beer can, go away, you’re screwing with my mind.



Empty beer can killed my buddy, hear me? Killed my bud!

Dam it I’d kill empty beer can if I could!


Empty beer can ain’t no friend of mine.


I just see him… from time to time.


English Universities

This one was inspired by the great Tom Lehrer singing the elements in the periodic table to the tune of Model of a modern Major General. Same tune for this one, but this time its a list of all the universities in England….in the words of Tom Lehrer “this next song is completely pointless”….

There’s Exeter and Hertfordshire and Huddersfield and Gloucestershire and Westminster and Winchester and Worcester, York and Bedfordshire and Wolverhampton, York St John, Warwick, Keele and Lancaster and Teeside, Portsmouth, Plymouth, Reading, Hull and Central Lancashire.

There’s Newcastle and Roehampton and Leeds and Kent and Manchester and Oxford Brookes Northumbria, Soas, Bath and Staffordshire and Salford, Sussex, Surrey, Open, MMU and Cumbria and West London, Sunderland, Sheffield and Anglia.

There’s Northampton and Southampton and Middlesex and Nottingham and NTU and UEA and Derby, Solent, Buckingham and Open, South Bank, Loughborough and QM, Hallum, Chichester and Bradford, Bristol Bournemouth, Brighton, BCU and Birmingham.

There’s West of England, Holloway, Cranfield and Coventry, De Montfort, Chester, City, Hope and Leeds Metropolitan, there’s Lincoln Leicester John Moores King’s and London Metropolian and not forgetting london’s school of hygiene and tropical medicine.

I must admit there are some international universities, there’s Harvard, Yale and MTU and plenty more overseas, there’s Tokyo and Sydney and few good ones in Switzerland, but let me now return to the list of those in Engerland.

There’s Greenwich, Essex, Edge Hill, Kingston, UCL and Liverpool and Aston, Bolton, Bath Spa Brunel and then there’s London Business School and the University of Arts, East London, London, LSE, there’s Durham, Cambridge and Oxford, but sadly they rejected me.

Despite a short diversion when I veered slightly overseas, that was a list of all the only English Universities.

Twilight Days

I wrote this song lying on a hard bed on a sleeper train travelling from Guangzhou to Guilin, South China, in December 2002. I had just had the idea of the passing of time and twilight, maybe because it was dark outside, so started putting pen to paper. I had got to the end of the first verse when all the lights on the train were suddenly turned off by the conductor. Still, when you think you have a good idea and have a pen and paper in your hand, you should carry on. So I did. Some days later I deciphered what I had scrawled in the pitch black, and I think it went something like this….

We’re sitting in the cast of a shadow

The sax is feeling the mood

The waves outside are crashing on the sea front

We’re inside enjoying our food


Your eyes hold a truth in a whisper

They sparkle like the wine in your hand

Your lips send a shiver down the back of my spine

My heart’s beating quicker than the band


Will it be like this forever?

Will your face be the thrill of my gaze?

Will your palm seem so pure, when our time is fewer

When we’re in our twilight days?


We talk like we could talk for hours

Your voice is a cure to my ears

And the words that you say, won’t ever go away

Till the day they’ll reduce me to tears


You lead me up to the dance floor

You dance with such eloquence and grace

And we laugh at a joke we remembered

Your laughter illuminates the place


Will it be like this for ever?

Or will laughter turn in to dismay?

And will the joke seem so funny

When we’re in our twilight days?


We finish the meal and the liquor

And the waiter brings us the bill

You say shall I go back to your place

And I nervously say that I will


You bring out the tea and the coffee

We relax in more comfortable chairs

And my heart beats so fast, it could be my last

When you say, ‘shall we go upstairs’


Oh will it be like this forever?

Or is it just a passing phase?

Will I lust for your body, your soul and your mind

When we’re in our twilight days?

When we’re in our twilight days.


The smallest thought for me

Is the biggest key imaginable

It can open the heaviest door

And let it blow in the breeze

And behind the door is an impossible matrix

Of fleets and dashes and colours of the widest spectrum

And the matrix entwines and flows…

But stop

I must close the door

It fights me; the wind and weight try to defeat me

It is so heavy; but now it is firmly closed

And no one else can open it

Unless they find the key.